The reason you don’t understand me, Edith, is because I’m talkin’ to you in English and you’re listenin’ to me in dingbat!”? – Archie Bunker
Archie was right about finding a common language or wavelength, but it takes two to communicate– the speaker and the listener. Both need to make the effort to understand each other. According to a French proverb, “The spoken word belongs half to him that speaks and half to him who hears.”
All skills require learned behaviors and rules. The rules for good listening involve basic courtesy, sorely needed by Archie, and common sense. Some of the rules may seem obvious, but it is amazing how many people forget them and unintentionally insult the speaker.
Often, without intending to be rude, your enthusiasm for a subject and your own desire to hear yourself talk cause you to forget courtesy. At other times you may be so involved with your own point of view that you forget to listen to what your client is saying; you just plain stop listening!
So, when conversing with another person, be aware of and practice the following rules:
1. Let others tell their own stories first.
When others explain their situations, they may reveal interesting facts and valuable clues that will aid you in helping them solve their problems or satisfy their needs. By letting them speak first, you also save time. When their interests are revealed you can tailor your discussion to their particular needs, goals, and objectives and can dispense with inappropriate conversation.
2. It is impossible to listen and talk at the same time.
Get the rest of the 16 Commonsense Listenting Tips from Tony Alessandra
